Using People as Setting

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to Yellowstone to celebrate our anniversary.  We had a lot of fun, and there was a lot of amazing sights. 

As we traveled, I started thinking about how I would describe it if it were in a story I wrote.  I guess that’s proof that a writer’s mind is never still.  I’d focus a lot on the geysers, the smell of sulfur, and the formations created in stone.

Then there’s the never ending landscapes, trees and mountains.  It almost feels like you can see for miles. 

For some reason, there was something about the dead trees in the middle of the large basins that just amused me.  I think I took way too many pictures of those.

There’s no way to mention Yellowstone without talking about the wildlife: deer, elk, and buffalo. Of course, I can’t really tell the difference between any of them, so I didn’t really take pictures of those.

But when I think of our visit to Yellowstone, I wouldn’t stop there.  When we arrived at Mammoth Springs, we got there at approximately the same time as 2 tour buses of Asians.  It was a madhouse trying to take a picture of anything without having someone jump into the way. 

Many of them thought I was part of their tour group and tried to talk to me, but I didn’t understand a word I said.  And once they realized I was with my Hispanic husband, we got many confused and perhaps disappointed glances. 

They were people, visiting a National Park.  Yet for me, they became a large part of my visit.  If I were to describe the setting of Yellowstone, the tourists would be a large part of the setting.  I didn’t know any of them personally.  I had limited interactions with them, but at the same time, they were a major part of my visit.   

I didn’t take any pictures of them, since I wasn’t sure that would be appropriate. 

When I describe setting in my stories, do I think about the people that surround my characters?  I don’t think so.  But they don’t live in a vacuum, there’s always someone around.  In The Stone Mason, Rowell goes to school.  Yet, I don’t think I ever described the other students. 

What do you think?  Can people be included in the setting description?

Emotional Senses

Over Memorial Day, my sister and her husband invited us to go to a park with them for some roasted hot dogs.  We were excited because it was finally warm enough that was an option!

When we got there, we started the fire, and I’ll admit that the little girl in me did a giddy dance.  There’s something about campouts and smores and just sitting around the fire that brings back the best of memories.  Everything from Family Reunions to Girls’ Camps to activities with friends in high school.

Picture taken by me

Sure the burning of the fire was a great visual, but that wasn’t what triggered the happy feelings.  It was the smell.  I’m a sucker for the smell of campfire.  Random, I know.  When we got home, my husband wanted to shower right away because he thought we stunk.  I wanted to bask in the smell for just a bit longer.

When writing, there’s the tendency to focus on sights.  After all, most of us are very visual learners.  I tend to remember faces much better than I remember names.  (Okay, maybe not just a tendency.  I can’t remember names at all.)  There’s a reason why teachers use chalkboards, whiteboards and PowerPoint Presentations.  We all want to see it for ourselves.

But is there any sight that can evolve the same memories and emotions as a smell?  In my own humble opinion (and feel free to disagree), I think that smell and taste are the two most emotional of the senses.

Remember the scene in the Parent Trap?  The really old one?  The first time Susan meets her grandfather, she smells him.  Then she says, “All my life, when I’m quite grown-up, I will always remember my grandfather and how he smelled of tobacco and peppermint.”

In one of my favorite animated movies, Anastasia can’t remember anything about her past.  At least, she can’t until she catches a whiff of her grandmother’s perfume.  The smell is enough to open up the gates.

I’ve been working on using more smells in my writing.  Smells that the readers will know.  Ones that could set the scene better than if I described every piece of furniture. 

What’s your favorite smell?

Dum dum dum! I’m the Villain!

Last week, I wasn’t feeling so well, so I pulled up Netflix and decided to try “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2.”  I’m not always a fan of sequels, and I went in not expecting it to be as great as the first one.

I thought it was actually pretty creative, though there was one thing that really bothered me.  The villain came in the first few minutes of the movie and announced to the audience that he was indeed the villain.  Then he went on to become the main character’s mentor, though everything he did was clouded by the fact that I already knew that he was up to no good.

As I was watching, I started wondering why it was so important for the audience to know that he was evil to begin with.  Would the story have been different?  Probably not.  The young, enthusiastic inventor would have still learned from the older, wiser inventor.  He would have been sent out to save the island and ultimately saved the ‘animals’ living there.

The difference would have been that I wouldn’t be waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And I kept wondering how the main character couldn’t see it.  I mean, after all, he’s been so obvious in his evil intent that I told the audience within a few minutes.  How couldn’t he see it too?  I think I would have enjoyed the movie more if I had been with the main character, wondering if he was doing the right thing, instead of knowing he was making a mistake.

Which, in turn, made me wonder what kind of villains I’m creating.  Are they all so evil that there’s no chance of redemption?  Does the main character know who they really are or do they have an angel face hiding what they’re really up to?

Personally, I’m starting to really enjoy creating angel faces. 

How about you?  What kind of villains do you like to read?

Voice

This week, I started revising my yellow WIP.  My main character, Rowell, is very different from all of the other main characters that I’ve created, and I love getting into his mind.  He’s a teenage boy who's got a chip on his shoulder that clouds his perception of everything around him.  Yet there's something about him that affects the way that interacts with others, something he's not even aware of.

 

One of the main elements of this revision is focusing on voice.  I've already got a bit of it within the story, but as I've delved into what really makes him tick, I've realized that I've sold him short.  Rowell's personality is so clear that this draft has been one of the easiest to write. 

I've read many articles on the importance on finding a characters voice.  It can affect the tone of the story and the way that it reads.  Consider the differences here between the first and second drafts:

Rowell dropped his book, startled by his father's voice.  Lori shot him a guilty glance before scooting out and jumping up.

Rowell's head whipped up, and he flinched under Larzo's gaze.  After a moment, he glared down at Lori.  The little rat!

They're just small changes, but I can't help but smile with the second example.  Probably because I can completely see him glaring down at his little sister.  I have younger siblings, and I know what it's like when they tattle-tale.

Voice needs to feel natural.  It needs to come from the character, rather than from the writer.  Or maybe they should be working together to create it.

What do you think?  Any advice on creating effective voice?

The Small Details

Years ago, I took a tour of Salamanca.  It’s a city in Spain that’s known for the knowledge and education.  There’s old architecture and fascinating legends associated with it.  There are three notable ‘secrets’ hidden details of the buildings.  Amongst everything else, the intricate details and carving in the buildings, there’s three things that just don’t quite match.

That is a frog, an astronaut and a gargoyle eating ice cream. I found two of the three while there.

Here’s a picture that I took.  Can you see the frog?

How about now?

Most people probably wouldn’t even notice them if they weren’t told to look for them.  But having it hidden there really makes the experience even better.  It helps the tourists really stop to enjoy the artwork, to pay attention to the small details that it took to create the masterpieces that spent years to create.

I’d like to think that while writing, I add those details that are so subtle that it might be missed by the average reader, but could still help increase the beauty of the art.  It’s a matter of finding the balance between too much and not enough.  It’s putting in the details that matter while making sure they blend into the story.

Romance in Literature

Last week, I decided to watch a movie from my childhood, The Swan Princess.  This movie brings back fond memories of growing up, singing the songs and spending time with my family.  In fact, while watching the movie, I spent the first ten to fifteen minutes quoting the entire thing.  And I definitely sang all of the songs without difficulty. 

However, as I was watching, I started thinking about the kind of ideas that this movie gives children.  And when I say ideas, I mean specifically describing romance and creating expectations. 

I loved romance as a kid.  Movies, books, etc.  That was my favorite genre.  And The Swan Princess was one of my favorites.  Derek goes to extraordinary lengths to prove his love to Odette, and even when he knows he’s lost, he keeps fighting.  It’s a story of true love, or what I assumed was true love.  But as I started watching, I was a little surprised by how forced the romance felt. 

Derek and Odette spend their entire lives forced together, but hating each other.  While watching, my husband tried to guess their ages as they grew up, and said something along the fact that Derek probably noticed that he had feelings for Odette when she was flirting ‘with the castle guards.’  But he didn’t really realize what he was feeling until that moment when she was pushed in the room, all grown up and stunning.  That’s actually quite common in romantic shows, that a man doesn’t realize that he’s in love until the woman appears dressed up and beautiful.

Over the years, I’ve adjusted my idea of what true love is.  When I was in high school, I worked at a retirement home where I became friends with quite a few of the residents there.  There was one couple that became my hallmark for ‘true love.’  He lost a leg in war and had to ride around in a wheelchair.  She had more health problems and was on continuous oxygen.  But together, they were able to function as one.  She pushed his wheelchair while he held her purse, and her oxygen hung on the back of his chair.  Every night, they split a fruit plate for dessert. 

Then, I fell in love myself.  It did take me quite a while to realize that I was in love, especially since it started as friendship.  But what surprised me the most was that my husband never made a grand gesture to prove his love.  He didn’t fight a ‘great animal,’ he never raced across an airport to profess his love, and he never offered himself a sacrifice to save my life.  What he did do was become a constant in my life, someone who I could talk to about anything, someone who never judged me for who I was. 

He didn’t fall in love with me because of the way that I dress, or because I wore a lot of makeup, but because of who I was.  He was impressed with my piano playing, my attempt to learn Spanish, my aptitude for learning.  And I fell in love with his easygoing nature, his dependability and his adaptability.

Love isn’t always a grand gesture like shown in the movies.  Sometimes it’s something as small as supporting one another’s weaknesses, whether it be physical or emotional.  And that’s something I look for now when I read romances.  Difficulties due to lack of communication and lies tend to leave me cold.  I want to read more natural romances, where it builds slow and strong, not to be broken by a simple arguments and clashes in personalities.

How about you?  What kind of romance do you look for in literature?

Prewriting: Step 4 - Creating The Small Settings

Since I’ll be spending so much of November working on my NaNoWriMo project, I thought I’d show you a bit of my prewriting process.  This is what I did during October.  This post is about creating settings - the small ones.

There are a few places that I have to get the images of what’s there.  In my last post, I talked about using Google Sketch.  It’s good for the big settings, but almost impossible for the small ones that need a bit more creativity, less structure and more of a picture.

For example, I have a world that’s created only in dreams.  Now, I’ve never actually been to that world, and I wasn’t quite sure what it looked like.  So I began doodling.  As I did, I began to get a clearer picture.  Doors.  Lots of doors.  Each one leading into a different person’s dream.

So as I doodled, this is what I came up with.  It’s just an outline, but it makes the picture clearer for me.

And of course, there’s a Rowell’s dream world.  I knew what I wanted, but the where and the how?  That was a little bit more difficult.  So, again, I doodled until I could figure it out.

Now I know what’s going on and where my characters are.  

Stay in your Character's Head

Growing up, I was a fairly naïve person.  I never understood sarcasm.  In fact, my friends and family used a made up hand motion to let me know when they weren’t being serious.  And sometimes they still have to use it.

Not only was I naïve, but I was also fairly unobservant.  And I never realize how much my naivety and unobservant nature affected my worldview until I went looking for apartments in Spain.  My boyfriend (now husband) went with me because he wanted to be sure I chose a safe neighborhood.

We went to a specific apartment in an area known as ‘Gran Via.’  Literally known as the Great Way.  It was a bustling main street full of theatres, ballet companies, plazas, restaurants – anything to keep a person occupied.  The apartment I was looking at was rented by a family I met at church and it was on one of the side road connecting to this main street.  They had an extra room available for me to stay in.

Me in Gran Via

I remember walking down the alleyway.  My first impression was that there was a lot of construction being done.  Part of the street had been torn up, and it had rained the night before, spreading mud all over everything.  When we got to the apartment, the room was on the 5^th floor, and there wasn’t an elevator.

“Okay,” I thought, “So I have to walk a little extra.  Exercise isn’t bad.”

Then we got into the apartment itself.  The room was small, but I had my own clothesline.  Definitely a plus from where I’d been staying before.  There were a few cons to the situation (one being the very energetic ten year old that ran around the main room screaming) but I definitely saw more positives than negatives.  It was in a central location, I got along with the family and the room was decent for the price.

When I told my boyfriend that I was considering accepting their offer, I was surprised by his response.

“Even with the prostitutes downstairs?”

Prostitutes?  What prostitutes?

You see, while I was noticing the construction and the mud, he was noticing the scantily clad women handing out condoms.  Where I saw my own clothesline, he was noticing the bright flashing light outside the window welcoming clients.

We were in the same place and we saw the same exact things.  But what we noticed very different things.  I was looking at comfort while he was looking for safety.  He knew I often came home late at night, and he didn’t want me to get myself into a dangerous situation.  And for those of you wondering, I decided to live somewhere else.

With that in mind, I try to always write a scene within a character’s point of view.  Would they pay attention to majestic buildings of the flies buzzing around the road kill in front of it?  Would they admire the cleanliness of the kitchen or notice the smell of pie coming from the oven?  What small details are important to your character?  When focusing on voice, it’s important to remember that it’s the character telling the story, and we need to stay within their head to remain consistent.

Lessons from Elements of Style - Part 1

I’ve only taken one creative writing class.  That was years back in junior high when my schedule opened up for one semester and I was able to indulge my creative interests.  My teacher was at that time a published writer (though she used a pen name, so I don’t know what books she published).  And she felt that the most important thing for us as new writers was to read the Elements of Style written by Strunk and White.  We had specific phrases we had to learn and memorize for tests.

I’ve just pulled out the notes that I took for that class.  (Yes, I kept them) and I’ve been reviewing them again.  I’m amazed by how appropriate each phrase is, and I’ve decided to dedicate each Wednesday of the month of October expanding on each one.

Today, we’re going to start with the one that always comes screaming into my head whenever I think of the Elements of Style.

Quote taken from Elements of Style

I can’t tell you how many times we had to repeat this phrase during class.  This was my teacher’s one motto.

 

Specific to the General

When I think of this part, I think of telling vs showing.  You may have a character that you tell the reader ‘has proven himself to be trustworthy.’  How specific is that?  Does that give the reader a definite idea of who he is?  In what has he proven himself trustworthy?  Get specific.  Take a moment to describe a specific moment when he’d proven this.  Was there a time when he’d been asked to keep a secret and he’d lost his best friend because he’d kept it?  If I tell you one of my characters is naïve, wouldn’t it be easier to believe if she says something in a situation that makes it obvious that she doesn’t understand what’s going on? 

Definite to the Vague

This is the area that I struggle with the most.  I tend to be vague with descriptions, and I’m never quite sure when I need to use more.  It’s something I’ve been working on, and I feel as though I’ve improved quite a bit in the past few months.  It’s not a matter of describing every single little detail within the scene.  It’s a matter of determining which details help move the scene forward or pinpoint the personality of your characters. 

For example.  I had a character stand up.  But that was a bit vague.  Here’s what I ended up writing:

He accepted Brednon’s help, wincing when the joints in his legs resisted. This human form was becoming more cumbersome. If he wasn’t careful, he might lose his ability to remain useful to the king.

With just a short, definite description, I was able to convey that not only is he growing older, he’s also worried about how long he’ll be useful in his position.

Concrete to the Abstract

Along the lines of the ones before, this I believe, has to do with concepts and ideas.  If you’re telling a reader that a character’s afraid, then maybe you should expand on that.  Afraid, angry, uncomfortable, any of these feelings could be considered abstract.  Dig deeper.  Find the why.  Find out what it is about the situation, the person or whatever they’re facing that makes them feel how they do.  Focus on the reactions, the physical actions that show the emotions.  Focus on the concrete, rather than the abstract.

How do you make sure you write with the specific, definite and concrete?  What lessons have you learned while writing?

Now You See It

When I was younger, I read just about anything and everything.  I devoured books, and I drove my mom crazy by leaving them all over the house. 

We had a close friend of my parents that had similar tastes as me, and one day, I suggested that he read The Robe by Lloyd C Douglass.  (For those of you who haven’t read it, I highly suggest it!) 

My mom’s response forever changed how I looked at books and writing.

“Krista, he wouldn't like it.  He can’t see images described in books.”

What?  Books had images?  Sure, I knew that there were the boring descriptions throughout every story I’d read.  (And one of the reasons why I couldn't finish Lord of the Rings).  But I never understood why.  You see, I can’t see the images either.  When I read a book, I might hear the voices of the characters as they converse, I might feel the environment, but not once have I been able to ‘see’ what’s going on. 

Some people describe it like watching a movie.  They see everything they read, the characters have faces, expressions.  The setting isn't just a landscape, it’s an actual place. 

I've tried to practice imagining as I read, and there are moments when it feels like exercising my brain.  I've gotten to the point where I can occasionally glimpse shadows.  I can see snatches of colors.  But that’s as far as I get.

Picture taken by me!

I know what you’re asking.  I write stories.  How can I write a description if I can’t ‘see’ it?  One of the more amusing responses from a beta after reading my White WIP was that there was too much noise.  It’s distracting when there’s so many noises going on in the background, and she can’t concentrate on what’s going on. 

In my Red WIP, I have a large number of scenes where a character is listening in to a conversation, but can’t see the people as they converse.  I think this is based almost directly on the fact that I can’t visualize it, but I can hear the conversations as clearly as if I was listening in too.  In fact, sound is probably the most dominant sense that I use when writing.  Interestingly enough, one of my recent betas has asked me to add smells into every scene.  

I don’t know what my characters look like, at least, for the most part.  I have to keep a list to make sure that I don’t say one character is blonde in one chapter and brunette in another.  It’s been a struggle for me to balance all 5 senses – hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell.  But I think it’s something I’m improving on.

What about you?  What do you ‘see’ when you read?  Is it like a movie?  Or an audiobook?  What sense most appeals to you?  And do you have any advice on adding description?

Who cares about the details?

Over this past week, I’ve been revising a few chapters of my Red WIP.  Now that I’ve finished writing the Blue WIP, I’ve switched gears.

 

Writing a first draft can be a rush – pen frantically scribbling, trying to keep up with the inner muse.  It’s probably one of the most exhilarating experiences I’ve ever had.  Each day, I can’t wait to find out what happens and to watch the characters leap from the page.

But for me, the slow, methodical process of editing and revising is even more rewarding.  It’s like practicing the piano.  After hours of practicing, hitting all the wrong notes, playing hands alone, at an excruciatingly slow page, and wondering if the song will get any easier.  (Trust me.  I have experience with this, just ask my piano teacher.)  There’s nothing like finally being able to sit on the bench, open the music and feel my fingers moving automatically.

And that’s exactly how I feel about editing.  It’s the moment to roll up my sleeves and put in the work that can be enjoyed at a later point in time.

It’s all about the details.  Watch passive tense, show don’t tell, create believable dialogue, making sure character’s personalities and motivations are consistent, watching POV, no head hopping, delete unnecessary adverbs, limit dialogue tags, vary sentence length… really, this list could keep going for quite a while.

And to be honest, I feel that I’ve mastered several of the above.

However, there is still one area that still eludes me.  And that’s the details.

I’m never quite sure when the reader wants to know more.  It’s only when my wonderful betas tell me that a scene is lacking.  

I’ve never been a particularly observant person.  In fact, one of my coworkers told me (repeatedly) that I have an appalling lack of curiosity.  I don’t need a detailed explanation for everything.  In fact, most of the time I don’t even need an explanation.  That’s how my brain’s been wired and often, I don’t notice when I leave the details out because I don’t think they’re necessary.

So after forcing myself to expand on the miniscule, I noticed an improvement.  Here’s a before and after:

BEFORE

A small giggle sounded and Aydra whirled around to stare at Rose, whose face held the first smile they had seen since her arrival.  Temar also stared at Rose before looking up at Aydra with bright eyes.  Aydra wanted to laugh and cry and cheer, at the sight of Rose’s smile and it somehow gave her the strength to stand up to her aunt.

“He will only be here a few weeks,” Aydra reminded Sasma.  “We need his help.”

AFTER

At the sound of a small giggle, Aydra whirled around, almost unable to believe it wasn’t a trick of the wind. For the first time since she’d arrived, Rose’s lips quirked upward, the beginning of a smile evident on her face. Temar stared down at the young girl before pulling her in close and kissing the top of her head. Aydra wanted to laugh, cry and cheer at the sight. It made all of the early mornings, the sleepless nights and confrontations with her uncle worth it.

She glanced back toward the kitchen, surprised to see her aunt leaning against the door’s frame. In the shadows of the dusky light, the wrinkles around her eyes deepened. For just a moment, Aydra’s mind tugged on memories best forgotten. The curve of her aunt’s cheeks, as well as the high cheekbones reminded her of her mother, and a longing rose in her chest.

“He’ll only be here a few weeks,” Aydra reminded her aunt. “We need his help.”

What do you think?  Better?  Worse?  How do you add details?