International Fashion Lesson

America is known as the melting pot. Most of the people you pass on the street have some kind of cultural mix that makes it almost impossible to know where they’re really from. I’m an Asian American, which means that I look Asian, but I definitely associate as an American.

When I moved to Spain, a lot of people assumed that I was Asian, but then there were those who knew instinctively that I wasn’t. In fact, there were times when people would pass by me and make a face, and say the one word: American.

I could never figure out how they knew. Most of the time, I wouldn’t be talking to a friend, and I wouldn’t be doing anything that seemed remotely American, but somehow they all knew.

After marrying my husband, and after many years of marriage, I think I’ve figured it out. It’s because of how I dressed. It wasn’t that I was a slob, but it turns out that Americans do tend to dress down compared to other countries. They could tell by my ratty tennis shoes, and lack of fashion that I was an American.

Can you spot the Americans?

Hubby still comments on it every once in a while. He’ll let me know that I can wear something nicer, or that I don’t need to wear something that’s old, especially if it looks worn. One of his favorite phrases is, “Just because we don’t have money doesn’t mean we have to look it.”

I can’t count the number of times that I went to school at my University and most of the students are still in their pajamas. Or in sweats and sandals. And now that I think back on it, when I went to the university in Spain, the only ones who dressed that way were the Americans. They didn’t mind going to the grocery store dressed down. It’s just the grocery store. I know I’ve had that thought when going to class. Would anyone actually notice if I’m wearing the same sweatshirt all week? It’s nice and warm, and that’s all I care about.

Universal Language - Or Not

My family is fairly musical. I actually feel like the musically stunted one in the family because I only learned how to play the piano and sing. I have some sisters who play up to three or four instruments. All of them participated in bands and took AP Theory classes. I do, however, know music, and I was taught from a very young age.

When I moved to Spain, I had someone ask me if I would be willing to teach them piano. I'd never taught, and I didn't really speak the language, but I figured it wouldn't be that difficult. It's just using the same terms. Our first lesson, we sat down, and I asked her if she knew anything about music. She told me that she kind of knew the notes, but instead of calling them A, B, C, like we do in the United States, she called them Do, Re, Mi. It took me weeks before I could remember all of the notes and be able to help her without singing the Sound of Music in my head. If I wanted her to play an F, I would tell her Fa. If I wanted a B, I would say Ti. It was incredibly confusing, and I thought that maybe she'd been taught incorrectly.

Then I went to a choir practice for church. The director was apparently very musical and as we practiced, she used the same terms as the girl I'd been teaching piano. She would play a Do on the piano and we would learn how to read music by Do, Re, Mi. She told the class that this was the proper way to read music, and that it was the way that it was done in the United States, so it had to be right.

It's amazing how music, which seems like something that should be a common language for all, had different terms within different cultures. Music is still universal, and it doesn't matter if we're playing a C or a Do, as long as the music is there.

Foreign Honesty

Growing up, my parents taught me about manners. About meeting strangers and being polite. Not saying what's on your mind. Not invading other people's space and not asking incessant questions. About avoiding topics and not getting offended myself. I thought I'd done pretty well with that...

Until I moved to Spain and none of that applied anymore.

I was shocked by how forward everyone was. They all said what they thought, and they didn't care if you were uncomfortable or not. It was a complete culture shock, but the part that really got me was how many times I had a guy follow me and then ask me out. On the subway, or sitting in the park. It was completely different from what I'd ever experienced.

One time, a friend and I were going to go see La Bella y La Bestia in Gran Via, which was a pretty big deal. We were so excited, and definitely dressed up so we could go to the theater. We arrived early, and the doors still hadn't opened, so we decided to walk down the street to one of the plazas and sit by the waterfall. As we were walking back to the theater, we noticed that two young Spaniards were following after us. We got to the theater and they came up to talk to us, and of course, my friend was gorgeous so they tried to talk to her first. Except she didn't speak Spanish. Then they turned to me. I was peppered with questions about where we were from, why we were in Spain, what we liked to do, if we had boyfriends, etc. They were shocked when I told them that I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend. They kept telling me that I needed one, and that they would be more than willing to accommodate. I was relieved once the doors to the theater opened and we could escape.

Another time, I was alone in a park, and a sweet old man sat next to me. He asked me what I was reading, and for a while, we just chatted. Finally, he asked me if I'd like to go to his house with him. I was slightly amused and asked what we would do there. He told me that we would share his bed. I was so shocked I didn't even know how to respond.

I've found that I actually prefer the honesty. It makes for some awkward situations, yes, but mostly with people who aren't used to saying whatever's on their mind. And it makes it so much easier for me to know what people are thinking. I don't have to skirt around issues anymore.

What about the rest of you? Do you prefer being PC and not offending anyone? Or do you prefer having honest communications with people?