On Jalapeños and Hot Sauce

My husband and I come from two very different cultures.  We listened to different music, ate different food and spoke different languages growing up.  We met in a 3^rd culture (a different country for both of us) and those differences didn’t really seem to matter.  In an essence, we were both “strangers in a strange land.”

After we got married, we moved back to the US – my culture – and that’s when I realized how different we really are.  Once I was back home, and able to buy the foods that I liked, we began to have some problems.

At first, he thought everything I made for meals was weird.  And after a while, he bought jalapeños and hot sauces to help him enjoy my cooking more.

For me, it was hard to believe him when he told me that he really enjoyed the food – after he added jalapeños, hot sauces and salt to it.  I didn’t think he could taste anything I cooked – especially with his new flavoring to it!

Husband's Jalapeños

But after I thought about it, I realized that it’s not only our backgrounds that make us enjoy different things.  It’s our personalities as well.

He likes action while I like romances.  He’s into sports and I’m into music.  

Everyone has different tastes and preferences.  Even if they like the same thing, their take can be immensely different.

So why do I bring this up?

This week, as I’ve been editing, I’m going through comments and critiques from various readers.  Some think the romance is too obvious while others want more.  Some say my description needs work, while others say it’s perfect.  Every reader wants something different. 

My red WIP is a fantasy, but it also includes romance, a strong relationship between father and son, numerous children and an unintentional commentary of government.  I even had one reader who wanted more out of the animals in the story. 

It’s always important for me, as a writer, to remember that everyone’s tastes are different.  They may very well prefer to have the literary jalapeños and hot sauces along with what I’ve written.  And ultimately, it is my story is mine.

All critiques and comments are suggestions.  Most of them are fantastic advice that makes my writing so much more effective.  But I also have to remember that I don’t have to take every suggestion.  If I did, my story would no longer be mine.  Even with every change I make, I still have to be true to MY story.  I can’t force something that doesn’t feel natural.  The readers will notice.  And if it’s no longer my story, then why should I tell it?

So although I love betas, and I always value their opinions, I take each suggestion with a grain of salt.  Or perhaps with some jalapeños and hot sauce.  

Multiple hot sauces for any occasion

The Character Exchange Rate

Have you ever heard the phrase ‘all Asians look alike?’

I am a victim of this stereotype.  Well, maybe I just have a lot of experience getting confused with other people.

Growing up, I had two sisters that were close to me in age.  We were just known as ‘the sisters’ by those who didn’t know us well.  We had similar expressions, mannerisms and habits.  In fact, one of our neighbors told us that if we were all “the same height and width” we could be “twins”.  I guess we blended in so well that he didn’t even realize there were 3 of us!

The 'sisters' as teenagers

One summer, when we spent a week or so at my grandparents’ house, we spent a lot of time with a cousin we rarely saw.  He had a hard time keeping us straight and we didn’t make it any easier for him.  Every time he’d ask us to tell him our names, we’d rotate, never giving the same name twice in a row.  We even got our littlest sister involved, but she couldn’t keep it straight after a while.  It took him years to learn our actual names.

For most of my life, I was one of the exchangeable sisters.  If one couldn’t, the others wouldn’t do.  People would call my mom, asking if one of us could babysit – it didn’t matter which.  We even had boys date two or more of us.

The Sisters as adults - with the little sister as well

In life, having “exchangeable” people is confusing, but in life, it can be downright annoying. 

Have you ever read a book where you wondered why one of the characters exist because they have the same function and personality as another?

I tend to start my stories with large casts.  Sometimes I had almost 50 characters roaming around.  Of course, I could keep them straight, but no one else could.  I was told to cut some of my characters because the story was too cluttered.

I have to say, that was quite a brutal experience, and I spent many an agonizing brainstorming session trying to figure out how.  I knew where the characters needed to be cut, so I started with the obvious.  A daughter who didn’t have a significant role, a man who appeared 2 scenes then never was heard of again.   But then, I had to cut one of my most favorite characters.  I spent drafts expanding her story, getting to know and understand her.  But those scenes weren’t necessary to the story.

Once I cut it down to the absolutely necessary characters, I realized how clear everything was.  I had the chance to expand on characters who had a bigger role later in the story.

So now, as I write, I ask myself – can these characters be interchanged?  Are they even necessary to the story?  And more often than not, I find one or two that have to be cut.

The Power of Rejection

This week, I did something that I’ve never done before.  I sent a query to an agent.  I’ve sent queries to contests where several agents are involved and slush readers go through and pick the best ones.  In those contests, I’ve just never received a response, meaning that I didn’t make it to the next round.  But this time, an agent provided the opportunity for anyone to send their query and first 5-10 pages and receive either a request for more a very honest response as to why the query is rejected. 

So I summoned up my courage and sent mine.  For a week, I waited, and then I received the response.  It was a rejection, very clear and concise as to why she didn’t want to read the rest of my story.  Her reasoning made sense.  She wasn’t interested in the genre because she’d seen too much.  I know that finding the right fit can be a lot of work.  It’s like going through a bunch of job interviews.  Most of the time, (at least in my experience) rejection is more common than acceptance.

 

Picture taken by me

But there’s something more that this rejection means.  It means that I’ve tried.  I’ve put my toe in the water and stepped out of my comfort zone.  In a way, I’m proud of this rejection.  There’s a part of me that wants to print out the email and save it for future references.  To remind myself that if I don’t try, there’s no way that I can achieve.  So really, this rejection is my first step towards achieving my dreams.

She also gave me some great advice (maybe inadvertently).  She asked me what was unique about my story.  

I’d always focused on telling the important points in my query, who my characters are, what they’re fighting for.  But I’d never thought to focus on what makes my story unique.  Yes, every story has similarities to another, but it’s the differences that counts.  And now I know what to really bring out in my query. 

And that’s why I’m bragging.  I attempted and I didn’t get pulled down by a rejection.  Though maybe you should ask me after 25-50.  

  

Created by me

What’s the last thing you did to work toward your goals?

Researching Plot Devices

Okay, I’m going to talk about something that has been bothering me recently.  I know that almost everything is fair game when it comes to writing, but Please, Please, PLEASE!  Do your research before using something as a plot device.

I’ve read a lot of stories where MC’s or MC’s families have diseases.  I’ve been particularly impressed by Judi Piccolt’s “My Sister’s Keeper.”  I have no problem with writers using that to create increased tension or to move the story forward.

However, there is one disease that I have a particular fondness for.  I’ve known that I was going to be a geriatric nurse.  In fact, that’s what I dressed up as on Halloween when I was 8 or 9.  While I was in college, I worked over the summer at an assisted living for Alzheimer’s and Dementia.  After only a few days, I learned to love my residents.  They are the most loving and wonderful people I’ve ever met. 

Once I got my nursing degree, I worked at a facility created solely to take care of Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients, and I loved every single day.  On the days that I just couldn’t deal with my real life, I was so glad to escape into work with my residents.  Even on their bad days, I loved my job.  And in my free time, I would learn more about the disease to better understand my residents.

So for me, I really pay attention to how Alzheimer’s is portrayed in literature and media.  And I’m come to this conclusion: Media is perpetuating a misconception of a very serious disease.

I know Alzheimer’s doesn’t seem like a common or serious disease to most people but let me put it this way.

What are the most common causes of death right now?  (Other than old age, of course)  According to the CDC, here’s the list.

1. Heart Disease

2. Cancer

3. Respiratory Diseases

4. Stroke

5. Accidents

6. Alzheimer’s disease

Alzheimer’s is the leading cause of death, and guess what?  There is no cure.  We still don’t know what exactly causes it.  For all of the rest, we’re making amazing strides in finding cures, preventing death.  Sometime in the near future, the number of deaths due to the first 4 will decrease significantly.  (We don’t really have a lot of control over number 5.)

With Alzheimer’s, we can only slow the process, but that doesn’t get the person with the disease back.   Alzheimer’s is a disease caused by tangles in the brain.  Certain parts of a person’s knowledge are lost.  Usually, it’s the short term memories, though it manifests in a variety of ways.  A person may forget how to walk, or how to eat.  Their last memories, the ones that remain with them until the bitter end, are the ones that have a deeply rooted emotional involvement.  I have patients who can barely talk, who’ve forgotten how and why to eat, who need help with almost every basic care of life, but they still recognize the sound of a son’s voice, their sister’s name or the face of their husband/wife.  Those are the things that they cling onto until the very end.

So when I see movies or read books with Alzheimer’s disease, I cringe.  I have yet to see it done in a way that doesn’t feel like a plot gimmick.  Probably the most famous movie focused almost entirely on the disease is The Notebook.  I’ve seen parts, the ones where the older couple is interacting, and while the older man is telling the story to the woman.  Here’s my problem with it. 

The woman is almost completely capable of everything.  She’s able to play the piano, she’s able to eat without aid, and she can even listen to a story for an entire day without forgetting the story.  However, she can’t remember who the man next to her is, and that’s almost exactly the opposite of the disease.  This man is her husband, and they’d been married for decades.  With Alzheimer’s, the farther the disease progresses, the shorter a person’s memory is.  If she has the memory to listen to a story for an entire day, then she shouldn’t have any problem remembering her husband, or her family when they came to visit.

I’ve also read a book recently (very well written), but I was immediately turned off when the MC went to visit the aging father of a friend in a nursing home.  Not only did he mistake her for his wife (with no indication of why), he also told her everything she needed to know, just to further the plot.

Have I been mistaken for a patient’s wife?  Of course!  But by that point, they weren’t able to create a complete thought.  They couldn’t tell the difference between one person and another.  They can’t continue a conversation for more than a few seconds. 

Am I angry that they used Alzheimer’s in their stories?  No, of course not.  But I am disappointed that the disease was not properly researched.  There are so many misconceptions about the disease, and the biggest one is that Alzheimer’s is just forgetfulness, it’s a part of old age.  And a lot of people see it almost identical to amnesia.  They don't realize that it's something that attacks the brain and that affects every part of living.  Not just memory, but personality and function as well.

I know this is a long post, but it’s very important to me.  Please do your research before using anything as a plot device.  Whether it be a disease, a plot setting, etc, please make sure that you don’t create misconceptions.

Postnote: I wrote this several weeks ago, and scheduled it for today.  I was unaware that this would be Alzheimer's awareness week, but I think it worked out perfectly.  NBC is right now kicking off a campaign to not only increase awareness for this dreadful disease and they need our support.  The campaign is called the Age of Alzheimer's.  On twitter, it's #AgeofAlz.  To read personal stories of those who've delt with this disease firsthand, go to http://www.nbcnews.com/health/topic/the-age-of-alzheimers.  And for those who want to do something, there is a program called Us Against Alzheimer's.
 
Please take a stand.  Yesterday, in a G+ discussion held by NBC, one of the speakers made a very good point.  We need to be the voice of Alzheimer's because those with it have already lost theirs.  It can be as easy as calling your State Representative and asking them to increase funding to find a cure.

Thank you!

Now You See It

When I was younger, I read just about anything and everything.  I devoured books, and I drove my mom crazy by leaving them all over the house. 

We had a close friend of my parents that had similar tastes as me, and one day, I suggested that he read The Robe by Lloyd C Douglass.  (For those of you who haven’t read it, I highly suggest it!) 

My mom’s response forever changed how I looked at books and writing.

“Krista, he wouldn't like it.  He can’t see images described in books.”

What?  Books had images?  Sure, I knew that there were the boring descriptions throughout every story I’d read.  (And one of the reasons why I couldn't finish Lord of the Rings).  But I never understood why.  You see, I can’t see the images either.  When I read a book, I might hear the voices of the characters as they converse, I might feel the environment, but not once have I been able to ‘see’ what’s going on. 

Some people describe it like watching a movie.  They see everything they read, the characters have faces, expressions.  The setting isn't just a landscape, it’s an actual place. 

I've tried to practice imagining as I read, and there are moments when it feels like exercising my brain.  I've gotten to the point where I can occasionally glimpse shadows.  I can see snatches of colors.  But that’s as far as I get.

Picture taken by me!

I know what you’re asking.  I write stories.  How can I write a description if I can’t ‘see’ it?  One of the more amusing responses from a beta after reading my White WIP was that there was too much noise.  It’s distracting when there’s so many noises going on in the background, and she can’t concentrate on what’s going on. 

In my Red WIP, I have a large number of scenes where a character is listening in to a conversation, but can’t see the people as they converse.  I think this is based almost directly on the fact that I can’t visualize it, but I can hear the conversations as clearly as if I was listening in too.  In fact, sound is probably the most dominant sense that I use when writing.  Interestingly enough, one of my recent betas has asked me to add smells into every scene.  

I don’t know what my characters look like, at least, for the most part.  I have to keep a list to make sure that I don’t say one character is blonde in one chapter and brunette in another.  It’s been a struggle for me to balance all 5 senses – hearing, sight, taste, touch and smell.  But I think it’s something I’m improving on.

What about you?  What do you ‘see’ when you read?  Is it like a movie?  Or an audiobook?  What sense most appeals to you?  And do you have any advice on adding description?