When I was seven years old, I decided I wanted to be a
nurse. Not just a nurse, a nurse for old
people. I was the crazy 10-year-old that
not only could spell the word geriatric, I knew what it meant too. As a
child, I used to unbend paperclips and poke stuffed animals and dolls,
pretending I was giving them shots.
Since I was seven, there were only two moments when I
doubted my decision. Both were
important, but I’m only going to mention one.
It was when I was about nine or ten.
My dad took us to see a high school performance of Oliver! During
intermission, my little sister (only two at that time) fell and split her chin
open. We had to rush to the hospital
where my other sisters and I waited in the waiting room for what felt like
hours. As I sat there, all I felt was
fear. I saw the blood gushing from my
sister’s chin and I was terrified.
I realized I couldn’t be a nurse if I was afraid of blood,
and so I put away many of my medical toys, thinking that I couldn’t achieve my
dream. My fear was in the way.
Thankfully, as I’ve now realized years later, it wasn’t the
blood that scared me. It was the
uncertainty and the inability to do anything to help. I wanted to be a nurse because I wanted to
help the elderly. Not knowing what to do
in that situation (even though I was only ten) made me doubt my abilities as a
future nurse.
Obviously, I overcame that doubt. I’m currently a BSN working at my dream job –
in a nursing home. I can’t count the
number of times people have asked, “Why don’t you do something more with your
degree?” I’ve been told that I’ve thrown
my education away and that I’m wasting my time as a floor nurse. With a BSN, I could be management, work in prestigious
hospitals. I’m encouraged to continue on
my education and become a nurse practitioner.
But I don’t. I’m a floor
nurse at a nursing home. I’m the one who
gets to see everyone’s hemorrhoids, wake them up late at night when they’d
rather be asleep. I’m the one who gets
yelled at by both patients and doctors.
I act as the middle man. I deal
with death on almost a daily basis, helping others learn to prepare for it or
deal with it after it occurs. I’m
expected to work nights, weekends and holidays, 12-hour shifts. When someone has an infectious disease, I
still go in to provide their care.
And I love it.
Not a single shift goes by that I don’t go home, exhausted
and content.
Why?
Because I still remember why I became a nurse. That dream as a seven-year-old girl wasn’t
about the money, prestige or anything else.
I wanted to be a nurse because I wanted to ease the pain and loneliness
of the elderly. I wanted to be the one
they called when they needed help. I
wanted to be able to make a difference in their lives, especially so near the
end. And so, no matter what others
think, I keep working, keeping perspective on what really matters.
Having dreams and goals is important, but so is remembering
why we wanted them in the first place.
Every dream needs a little perspective.
Good for you. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm still in the process of pinpointing exactly what my dream is, so I'll know when I've reached it. I feel I'm pretty close, which is both exciting and exhausting, not to mention a little frightening, at times, since you never know what to expect from reality vs. what you've long imagined. Still, trusting that I'm on the right road is a reassurance.
Good luck with your journey!
DeleteComing from a medical family, I know what you mean. My sister currently is a hospice nurse, and it sounds like a very similar situation. It is the type of job that you need to love, or your couldn't possibly survive.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I worked a hospice floor for about a year and a half before we moved. I can honestly say it was the best job ever. And you can tell when a nurse is only doing it for the money or until they can get a better job. That's how nursing burnout happens.
DeleteUnderstanding when you've "arrived" is a valuable thing. You love what you do and it's definitely a worthwhile endeavor. I don't have kids so I occasionally worry what will happen to me when I'm old and infirm, but knowing there are caring people in the world like you gives me comfort. Granted, I hope I won't have to worry about being old and infirm for a half a century or so, it still pops into my head as I watch my own parents age.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you, Krista :)
Thank you! I know that there are a lot of people who have nieces or nephews, even close neighbors and friends who just take care of them while they need it. And it's always good to plan. :)
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