Friday, October 11, 2013

Looking Back on the Journey

This week, I finished the revisions to the Orphans of Jadox, which has been quite an experience.  This draft has been an adventure, and I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly it was that made it such an emotional adventure.  I think in a large part, it had to do with the fact that I’ve started to interact and meet with other writers.  Having a community is an amazing boost when I suddenly start to wonder if what I’m thinking or experiencing is normal.  I’ve loved getting to know all of you!

When I finally finished, I really just sat there, overwhelmed by the feeling of finishing.  It was very different from any other time that I’ve done it.  First off, I had butterflies in my stomach for days because of the excitement, trepidation and everything in between. Second off, I knew that it was the best I’d ever created.
My characters’ journey is over, at least for the time being.  But as they took their journey, I’ve taken one of my own, and I’ve spent the past few days looking at where I started. 

Writing has always been an important part of my life.  I wrote my first novel in high school.  (After a numerous amount of unfinished first chapters and half-novels).  At that point, I was convinced everything I’d written was gold.  I remember asking my dad to read something I’d written and getting offended when he offered suggestions on how to fix it.  Editing and revising were probably the furthest things from my mind.

But when I started college, I put it away.  I thought I had to grow up.  I went out and lived life to the fullest.  I studied in a foreign country for two years, learned a new language, made new friends, met a wonderful man and got married.  But that didn’t mean my life was perfect.  In fact, a few months after marriage, we ran into several difficulties that pulled me down.  I was depressed, stressed and having panic attacks at least once a week.  Goals that I’d always had – education, career, family – seemed almost impossible. 

It was at that time that I found my writing notebook.  And that inexplicable need to write was the only thing that kept me going.  I had to escape what I was experiencing, and writing was the portal. I could live vicariously through my characters’ lives and experience their triumphs with them.  For six months, I meticulously went through my novel.  After living so much more of life, I saw it through a different light.  I saw the errors, how flat my characters were.  I rewrote it, even changing it from 1st to 3rd person. 

Then, as if by chance, I met my first beta online.  I sent her my first chapter and she tore it apart and made me cry.  And that’s when the magic started to happen.  After a few weeks, I realized that I was a writer.  I had the chance to prove that what I was doing was worthwhile.  And the only way to do that is to accept criticism, build on it and learn where my weaknesses lie. 

Only after I realized what writing really was – hard work and dedication – did the burst of creativity happen.  I may take my time to put myself out there, but I’ve never regretted it.  Just like my characters, I needed to stumble and fail before I could rise to the challenge.  I needed something to fight for. 


Reading through my first draft of the Orphans of Jadox, I’m really struck by how much has changed in the past two years since I wrote it.  And I’m so grateful for those who’ve helped me in this journey.  For all of those who rooted for me, and even those who tried to put me down, I want to say thank you.  I couldn’t do this alone.  

5 comments:

  1. http://nightspages.blogspot.com/

    This is the "patchwork narrative" flash fiction serial story of a child vampire (the eternal child monster working out that existence),

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  2. I only wished I had asked for help before I self published my first book. I have since been better at asking and taking criticism, and have found trustful beta readers who have proven themselves to be painfully honest. But, unfortunately, I rushed the publishing of my first novel and had a very hard stumble at the start. I even wrote a blog post about this once I finished my 2nd novel, the right way, with criticisms and better process behind me. The link is below, if you're curios to know how NOT to self-publish your first novel. :-1

    http://www.tanyamiranda.com/2013/04/walk-stumble-fall-flat-on-your-face.html

    Now, I'm still struggling with the marketing aspect of self-publishing. I'm an introvert by nature, so figuring out a way to shine a light on myself and my work has been the biggest challenge so far. Some say you should market up front, have a plan before publishing, but unfortunately I got too excited with having better experience with my 2nd novel, A Selfish Moment (a romance), that I published and worried about marketing afterwards. It's been bumpy, but I'm one of those people who learns through experience and not through studying theory. (not sure it's a good thing)

    But, to my delight, whenever I crack open a random chapter of my sci-fi novel, Dramani, I find myself caught up in the scene until it ends. At first, it feels as if someone else wrote it, and then I feel elated because it was actually my own writing that captivated me. Call me silly, but it feels good being caught up in your own story, even after you've read it a gazillion times.

    Good luck on your novel. Reflection is good, healthy, even remembering the bad times, because if you don't look back you'll never learn from your mistakes, and you'll never appreciate the struggle.

    The view of a summit looks best when you turn your eyes away from the top and look back down the path you've just climbed. What an accomplishment!

    -T

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing! And I really enjoyed your post! It's amazing to see how you got back up after stumbling right at the start.

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  3. Woo hoo!! Congrats! It is a great story :-)

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