The First Step

I’m not an adventurer.  I usually leave that to my characters. 

For me, I love my comfort zone because it’s cozy and it’s something that I know.  I very rarely take risks without calculating all of the possible outcomes and yet, those risks and changes are what have made my life exciting.  In those moments when I have to move out of my comfort zone, leave what I know or try something new, I get a rush of excitement.

As many of you may remember, one of my New Year’s resolutions involved sending out my first queries in the month of January.  Writing is a passion of mine.  I do it because I love it.  But I’ve gotten to the point where I feel like it shouldn’t just be for me.  I want to share it with others.  Since I’ve decided to try traditional publishing first, that means querying. 

I participated in #Pitmad earlier this month, and WOW!  I was amazed by the fast-paced momentum that it went by.  I’m glad I participated, and maybe someday later I’ll be able to participate in another twitter pitch session, but I’m not sure that I liked the speed that it went by.  I much prefer taking things at my own speed, rather than trying to shout for attention.  I did have one editor request a query and the first 500 words, so it was a good experience, just one I’m not sure I’d repeat.

The rush of having someone actually request a query was fantastic.  The waiting, the anticipation… it was enough to make me want to try again.  This time, I sent out a query on my own, where it was just one on one.  I know the agent probably receives hundreds of queries a day, but at least I don’t have the feeling that I’m one of thousands trying to get attention.  (Though it’s probably not an inaccurate description.)

Last week, I received rejections from both the agent and the editor.  When I was talking to my mom about it later, I told her that I had the urge to print them both out and hang them up on the wall.

It’s not that I enjoy rejection.  I don’t.  But the fact that I was rejected also means that I tried.  I took that first step toward publication.  I tried and I failed.  But that doesn’t mean that I won’t ever succeed.  If I had never tried, then I would never achieve my goals.  If I never take that step, then I’ll never get anywhere.  And that’s why I’m going to celebrate this failure.

Picture taken and edited by me