Friday, November 22, 2013

Never Good Enough

For the first time since I think the first of November, I am finally above the stats mark on the NaNoWriMo website.  It’s been quite a struggle, but I’m finally to the point of the story where I really don’t want to leave it hanging.  Rowell’s getting to where he needs to go and he’s finally figuring out what he’s good at.

This Yellow WIP is much more of a coming of age story than most of my others, and it’s been quite an interesting experience.  Especially considering that this is from the point of view of a male character.  Not just any male character, a male with all sisters, one who’s felt picked on his entire life.  In fact, in some ways, Rowell has quite a bit in common with my younger brother, though I never realized it until recently.  (Not that I EVER picked on my younger brother).

With "The Kid" at a wedding

But one thing that Rowell’s been struggling with recently is a feeling of self-worth.  He’s always seen others excel while he feels like he’s stuck where he’s always been – just an ordinary, normal human.  Even when someone else tries to show him that he is so much more than he thinks, he refuses to believe.

This is something I think we can all relate with.  It’s hard to realize the good we’re doing or the influence we have on others because we always have to live with the greatest criticizer of all.  Ourselves.  It’s so easy to see the mistakes that we’ve made and the goals that we’ve never achieved instead of looking back and seeing how far we’ve come. 

I know that I can be incredibly self-critical to the point that I want to give up.  But that’s when we never should.  It’s important to ignore those feelings of failure and worthlessness and keep climbing.  A few stumbles here and there doesn’t define us.  It’s the continuation of moving forward, of progressing toward becoming better. 

How about all of you?  Any moments of self-doubt recently?  Remember, there’s always a chance to improve and become better.  And it always feels great to prove those doubts wrong!